A little more update

Well, I didn't return yesterday as hoped but I'm here today. That's better than it has been in a long time! I have so much on mind tonight. I know I won't be able to sleep until I process some of it so I will attempt that now. Kevin is at an awards show tonight so I won't be able to see him. I haven't seen or really even talked to him since Sunday afternoon. We exchange a few text messages during the day, but we're both so swamped right now that it's hard to talk. He works all the time so we haven't seen each other either. Stinks. Big time. I miss him! I can't wait til March when we'll actually live in the same place. Even though I'll be up and leaving at the crack of dawn, at least I'll know he's there. That has to better than waiting on a text message, right? Gosh I hope so. I thought student teaching was a rough time for relationships. This is much tougher though. We both work all the time and we hardly ever see each other. That's insane since we live 2 minutes away from each other. But I'm up early and to bed early. He's working late and the 2 just don't mix.

Onto the next processing point. I'm so excited about our wedding. It's only 130 days (really 129 b/c today is pretty much over!). We still have work to do on the ceremony and reception but it's coming together. It doesn't sound like long but it feels like a very long wait. We will get married 6 weeks before our 7 year anniversary. Several times I've been asked how old I will be when we get married. I guess they think I'm too young... When I tell them I was 16 when we started dating, 23 doesn't seem quite so young to get married :)  I've done my dating time thank you!

Now for school. Usually my class is pretty good. I have 2 native English speakers and 3 that have picked it up through home or pre-k pretty well. That makes 5 English speakers and 15 non-english speakers. Yes you read that right. Not exactly what I thought I was getting into with EL. I also didn't realize that the EL class I did all my practicum and student teaching experience with was 1st grade and that 1st graders learned A LOT of English in Kindergarten. Translate: Kindergarten EL students have no English! I don't know why I didn't realize this before I started teaching, but I figured it out very quickly the first week of school.

We have made lots of progress. I told another teacher today that I feel like I'm breaking horses. You just have to keep doing it over and over and over until they finally get it. And then you get them "trained" and class runs smoothly. However, then you inevitably have weeks like the past 2- everyone forgets everything they've learned and loses their minds! They act like they've never been in school before, never heard the rules, never heard a word of English, and act like they have no sense! That's how my past 2 weeks have been. I have no idea why. At first I thought it was Halloween candy. But Halloween has long past and the insanity continues. I don't know why; I'm just hoping it passes soon. We had a really rough day today. I told them not to come back tomorrow unless they remembered our rules and how to behave in school. I wish :)

I got a taste of an ugly reality today. I can't wrap my head around it yet but I'm just asking that you keep one of my students in your prayers. He is having a rough time and I'm doing what I can to help him, but he needs more than I can do for him. He is only 6 but having to deal with something that he shouldn't have to. He asked me today to help him and I want to more than anything. I have done what I can, but it's not enough yet.

On a happier note, I'm looking forward to going home soon for Thanksgiving. I'm ready to see my family and relax a little!!!

The prodigal blogger returns

Wow has the time gone by! Last time I blogged, I had just gotten engaged and just began working in classroom. Now, it's November and I can finally return. I had no idea how hard the first few months of teaching would be. I admire teachers who blog regularly and even post ideas to share. My blog will probably not be like that. It will be more like therapy :)

In the past few months, so much has happened. We are almost done planning the wedding details. Don't get me wrong, we still have a lot to do but the big things have been taken care of. We're getting married March 17 at Big Canoe in GA and I can't wait! I told Kevin yesterday that it seems so far away, but it's only about 4 1/2 months! Invitations have arrived but we're still waiting on RSVP cards before we can send them out. I have my dress, flowers, a bridesmaid dress, location, cake, invitations/save the dates, and engagement pictures all checked off the list. Over Thanksgiving we're going to get the boys suited up (reference How I Met your Mother :) ) and then check that off. Kevin's mom is scouting rehearsal dinner sites this week so that may be done soon too. We're making decisions about showers and honeymoon and music and other logistical things one weekend at a time. It's impossible to get anything done during the week because we both work so much.

Oh work. Yes we both work all the time. I'm thankful that we both have jobs, but I do miss getting to spend any quality time together. I'm hoping that once we live in the same apartment, it will be a little easier. I'm not naive enough to think things will change altogether; just hopeful that it will be a little easier.  We have very different schedules and that makes it tough. I'm wiped by the time I get home around 7 or later. I used to come home from the gym after school and do more school work. Not anymore. I'm drawing the line. I need me time. No, that doesn't make me a bad teacher. It makes me a better teacher because I'm taking care of myself. I'll be happier and my kiddos will be happier. They know when I've been working too much. They're not afraid to tell me (in their broken English), "Ms. Shilling, you nice today" or "You no nice yesterday."  If I work too much and don't take care of myself, I get grumpy and it's not fair to the kids. So I do what I need to do and I've learned that it's ok to leave a to-do list on my desk everyday before I leave. It's ok not to finish everything. For those who know me well, you understand why it took me til November to learn this lesson. It goes against every fiber in me. But IT'S OK not to finish your to-do list when you're a teacher, b/c it never ever ever ends!

I'll do another post later about what I've learned in my first few months as a teacher. It's quite enlightening, I must say. The only thing I'll say now is that it's nothing like I thought it would be.

On a personal and therapeutic note, I've had a lot to deal with since I last posted. On September 20, my world fell apart. Nothing has been the same since this day and not a day has gone by where I don't think about my Oma. I know it's hard for my family too and I don't want to seem selfish, but typing is the only way I can put words to my feelings. So if you need to stop reading here, please do.

My Oma was the most precious lady I've ever known. I love her so much and I miss her everyday. I had been doing better the past 2 weeks or so but recently I've had a hard time. For those who don't know, here is the Cliff Notes version- she had a heart attack on Tuesday, Sept 20. Kevin was in NY on a business trip and a good friend helped me get myself together and get to Atlanta. My mom had to call me at 6 o clock in the morning and tell me that her mom was gone. I still don't know how she had the strength to do it. My mom is just amazing like that. I hit the floor and all I could think was, "No, no, no, no. It's not fair. She's so excited about this wedding.. And now she's not going to be there." I cried the whole way to school, got my stuff together for a sub, but it took me 2 hours because I could not think straight. I went home and it took me forever to get on the road b/c I kept forgetting things. I cried most of the way to Atlanta because every stinking song that came on the Christian radio station seemed personally applicable. I tried to get myself together before I got to the house because I had no idea what I'd be walking into. Thankfully, my family deals with pain through laughter and joy. I cannot even tell you what a blessing it was to be with my uncles and aunts and mom in my grandparents house. Don't get me wrong, it was hard; but comforting at the same time.

There's a lot more to tell but mascara is running all down my face and it's way past bed time already. (yes, apparently I managed to buy the 1 mascara still made that is not waterproof...)  I needed a therapy session tonight b/c I've been missing my Oma

A work in progress

Day 2 of working in my classroom is finished.  I  have exactly 10 days total to get my classroom ready for students. Needless to say, I was hoping for a little more time to work in my room before school started. But I'll do what I can with what I've got. That's the flexibility of being a teacher, right? 

My room is a nightmare and other teachers agree. Not only is there a huge diaper keeping the roof off the floor that comes down to my head, but my room became the catch-all room at the end of last school year. I spent all day today pulling stuff of shelves and out of containers. Some of it was older than me; some of it hadn't been used in 10+ years. I was so thankful that some of the other teachers came in to help me weed through it. I had no idea what most of it was or what to do with it. I was more than happy to throw away most of the clutter that was overtaking my room. I wish I had taken pictures to show you all the stuff we threw away or got rid of. But to give you an idea, we filled up a shopping cart to overflowing twice. There was so much of it that we had to get it out of the room. I couldn't even work in there b/c there was so much stuff everywhere. 

Thanks to all of their help (for several hours today), I left today feeling a little better. There is still more than I care to think about left to do, but at least most of the junk is out. I still have a giant diaper ceiling that makes my room feel more like a bounce house but hopefully that will be gone Thursday. I still have lots of painting to do that can't be done until the diaper is gone. I still have lots of organizing to do, procedures to develop, a roster to fill, and numerous other things. One day at a time. One day a time. 

On another note, tax free weekend is this weekend and I couldn't be more excited! I've already stalked some of the store ads and made lists of what to get at each store. I've always loved school supply shopping, but now that I get to do it for my classroom, I'm even more excited! And the fact that they money will get reimbursed helps a little :)

One last school note: I was told today that there has never been a Kindergarten class at my school to start with less than 21 students. Repeat: 21 kindergartners and 1 teacher! It took me a few minutes to come to grips with this. I cannot imagine having 21 5-year olds in my room, but it looks like it may be that way. I was expecting 18 or so, but 21? Holy moly! This is panicking me a little but I'll let you know once I have a roster. 

Lots of prayers would be appreciated this week and next. I have soooooo much to do at school and no time to do it. I'm also trying to work on wedding stuff. We're going to Atlanta in 2 weeks to hopefully book a date and place! yay!! I'm trying not to stress with all there is to do, but I'm not always successful. Please say some extra prayers when you think about it. Thank you! Pictures coming soon!! :)

Quick Update

Well it's almost the weekend but there is still so much to do! This week I have been busy doing a New Teacher's Orientation program that Metro hosted. It was semi-helpful but a lot of repeat stuff that I learned in college. I was overwhelmed with all the information that we were given through the week. I spent (with about 180 other new teachers), every day from 7:45-3:45 being bombarded with loads of info that we need to know. Needless to say, by Wednesday afternoon, I was mentally exhausted.

I am hoping to get in my classroom tomorrow but that has yet to be determined. I'll find out in the morning. I have 6 big boxes and lots of other stuff to get out of my apartment and into my new classroom. Plus the room still needs a good cleaning, new paint, and so many other things. I could (and probably will) spend all day every day for a week working in there and still have loads to do. I'm trying not to let that overwhelm me. Luckily, I met some really nice new teachers at my school and we're all holding each other up for now. I've been told the teachers on my team will be just as helpful so I'm thankful for that! There is just so much to do and so little time to do it in, but I'll manage. I've already started recruiting people to come help me paint and put tennis balls on chair legs :) 

While all of this is going on, we're also trying to get Kevin moved and plan a wedding :)  Kevin is officially moving tomorrow but we've already moved a lot of his stuff. This is a weird move b/c it's just moving his stuff to a new place. We're doing that, but we're also moving things into my apartment and some of my stuff is going to his new place. That means a little more planning is involved haha. But we're managing!

As for the wedding, I'm hoping to have something finalized by the 2nd weekend in August. We're going to Big Canoe to meet with some people and see what we like. The wedding will most likely be in March (which weekend is up in the air right now) and most likely at Big Canoe in North GA. This is by no means finalized or determined yet. We're just hoping. I have spring break the first week in April so we're trying to make good use of it. I was going to wait until everything was finalized but I figured I'd at least share some of the decision making process. :)

With so many things up in the air right now, I will be very happy when something is finally put in it's place. I feel like a juggler right now. Hopefully nothing falls and hits me in the head, but I'll be glad to take a few things out of the air. This week I should start getting my classroom in order and by the end of the weekend, my apartment should be back in order. This will go a long way in bringing order back to my brain. I know for me, when there is chaos in the settings around me (i.e. classroom that's a mess, apartment full of stuff that's not in it's place yet & boxes to go to school....), there's some chaos in my head. That, plus all the emotional stress of starting school, getting a date set, being overwhelmed with information from the district, etc., has made me a mess this week. With compassion and help from a bigger God, I'm muddling my way through one day at a time. :)

Kindergarten Wishlist- Can you help?

The last 2 days I've been putting together a list of things I need for Kindergarten. I have very limited funds with which to get everything so I was wondering if I might enlist the help of people who love me :)  Please do not feel obligated! If you happen to have any of this stuff laying around and would like to put it to good use, I would love to help! There will be many 5 year olds and one 22 year old giving you lots of thank you's!

1) Box tops for Education- Everyone can do this! They're on almost everything you buy. I just stick a zipper bag on my fridge with a magnet, cut out the box tops from whatever they're on that I've bought at the store, and stick them in the bag. This is such an easy way for the school to earn money! (Now I'll just say, I work in a school where 75% of the kids don't speak English as their first language and most of them are on free/reduced lunch.) Having said that, if you think about it, please put these aside for us!

2.Old socks- yes I know this sounds weird but when they're washed, they make excellent erasers for small dry erase boards and are much cheaper than erasers. Erasers also tend to disappear and I'd much rather replace a sock! We all have a pile of socks that lost their mates in the dryer. Now is the perfect time to get them out of your laundry room! Please wash before donating if you can :)

3. Books- If you have any old kids books that your kids have outgrown, I'll gladly add them to our classroom library! I can't ever get enough books!

4. Little toys, Kids' meal prizes, or anything that would be good for a treasure chest- I'm going to do a reward system with my class and would love anything that would be something fun for the kids. I have a few things already but if I have a really good class, I'll run out quickly :)

5. Any school supplies you have laying around that won't be used, especially paper. I don't know, maybe someone has an excess laying around and just wants it out of their way. For example, Kevin was cleaning out his desk last night and found lots of goodies for me!

6. A hand held vacuum- This sounds a little odd too, I guess, but 5 year olds tend to make lots of little messes that would be easy to suck up real quick with a little vacuum. I'd also like to be able to get the dust up quickly and often to ease the pain of little allergy sufferers (and me as well!)

This is all I can think of right now. If you have other suggestions, feel free to send them to me! I haven't even gotten into my room yet to start working so I'm sure some other things will pop up! If you have any of these things that you'd be willing to part with (for a very good cause!), please let me know and I'll arrange to get it from you!

The last few days of summer

It's hard to believe but my summer is pretty much over in 2 days! Wow has time flown! It seems like just last week I was graduating college. Oh, wait, just last week I was getting engaged! :) It's only been a week and a half since we got engaged but a lot sure has happened in that time! Everything with my teaching job has kicked into gear, wedding plans have been a work in progress, and Kevin is moving! We've been busy since we got back from vacation, that's for sure!

1) teaching :)  I am officially a TN teacher now! My teaching license came in the mail today; all of the paperwork for MNPS has been completed and turned in; and I have been to school to see my room and talk with the principal! That all happened yesterday and today so it's been kind of a whirl-wind. I can already tell this 1st year is going to be quite the adventure. For starters, my room is in a hall way that is having a new roof put on it. Well, it rained before the roof was all the way there. Enough said? My room and the rooms on my hall are a mess right now! Mine stinks the worst though. Literally, it smells awful! My principal was trying to be positive about it though so I wouldn't be too worried. We'll get some paint, hopefully new (or I'll settle for cleaned) carpets (although tile floor would be best!) and spruce it up a little. We may also invest in a lot of Febreeze if that smell doesn't go away! On the bright side, my classroom is huge and I can't wait to get in it and start setting everything up! I'm probably going to be enlisting Kevin's help to paint a huge wall that has some pretty ugly wall paper on it too :) 

Next week I am in a New Teacher's Fellowship Program or something like that. It's hosted by Metro and is for all new teachers. It's 8-4 Mon through Thursday and then Friday I get to go to school and start working in my room! Yay!

2) Wedding planning- No, we haven't officially set a date yet. We have one in mind and have lots of ideas for what we want to do. We're in the process of putting everything together now. Hopefully in August we will have a date set and a certain special place reserved so the real planning can begin! So far, I'm mostly enjoying this process. There are a few elements I'm not so fond of, but overall, it's pretty fun. It's so fun to put all our ideas together and see what happens! I don't want to say too much before anything is officially planned, but if we get the place we're wanting, the ceremony will be absolutely beautiful!!! I can't wait to find out if we actually get to see that become a reality :)

3) Kevin is moving- Yes, he is moving very soon! This move will mostly consist of his stuff moving into my apartment while he (and my stuff) move into his new place. Confused? Yes, I thought so. Well, he is moving into a house with a friend and my furniture fits better there than his will. So my furniture leaves my apartment and Kevin's comes in. I have to say, it's gonna look pretty funny to anyone in the parking lot. The good news is, hopefully once we get married, most of Kevin's stuff will already be here so should be pretty easy! And I get to rearrange my apartment because there is all new (to me) stuff coming in :) I've already got the 6 boxes of school stuff ready to go so I could make room. I know he's happy to be able to make this change so I'm happy for him. I'm not so happy about how hot it's going to be the 2 weekends that we do this, but I'll be happy for him because I'm a good fiance :) (and b/c I want help painting my classroom!)  :)

Well, I guess that's about all for now! I have 2 days of summer left (plus a couple weekends that will be spent moving and painting my classroom and hopefully a trip to Atlanta). I'm going to make the best of it and enjoy it by babysitting and celebrating Kevin's birthday on Friday. Don't forget to send him a birthday wish b/c he's getting old now :)

One last thing, the post about the proposal was viewed over 40 times! I was so excited to see that! Thank you for all the love and support! And for reading these really long posts :)

We're Engaged!

One week ago today was the best day of my life so far. Kevin surprised me and proposed while we were at the beach! I have promised that I would put the story up on the blog since I didn't get a chance to call/text or talk to everyone. So here goes!

A little background first: We went to Ocean Isle Beach for a week with Kevin's family for a little vacation. We left Nashville on Friday to go to Atlanta. He dropped me off with Oma and Opa while he went to his grandmothers. We met back up on Saturday morning and headed to Spartanburg. Now, if I had known what was to come, I would not have been quite so insistent about seeing my parents that morning. But he couldn't tell me that we would have a cook out at the end of the week with them so I got to see my parents for a few minutes while the cars got packed. We drove all day and got to the beach Saturday evening. A wonderful week was to follow but I'll get to the special part!

Every day we would try to go for a walk on the beach. I had told him before we left that I wanted to get some good pictures; it had been a while since we took any. He kept assuring me that we would get some. Our nightly walks on the beach were my favorite part of the day. Listening to the water and being out in "nature" were wonderful. 

Skip to Friday: Friday morning it was raining. It hadn't rained all week so of course it was raining on our last day! I checked the weather to see if we'd be able to go to the beach that day and it said it was supposed to rain all day. I decided to go to the gym to work out a little since the boys were still sleeping anyways. Kevin's mom and I headed off to the gym. When we got back, the boys (by boys I mean Kevin, his brother , and his dad) had gone down to walk on the beach since it had momentarily stopped raining. I took a shower and they were back when I got out. Kevin said we should go down to the beach to take the pictures since it wasn't raining at the moment. (Earlier in the week, I told him I had brought 2 dresses in case we went out somewhere that I needed to dress up.) He also said I should put on one of my pretty dresses for the pictures. I thought nothing of it. I was just glad we were finally going to get some pictures! It made sense that we would go then, at 1 pm b/c at that moment, it wasn't raining. 

We got ready and headed out. As we were leaving, he said he had to get his phone. I thought that was odd for a brief second quickly justified it. (He later told me he actually got the ring instead!)  We walked down to the beach and of course it was windy! It had been unbelievably windy all week. I was kinda bummed because I had on a dress and it was blowing around; my hair was also blowing around like crazy. He swore it wasn't windy when they were down there earlier. But it was now so we trudged along the beach. As we walked and talked, I tied my dress in a knot so I didn't have to hold it :)  I also spotted a dead jellyfish and begged him to take a picture of it. I'm not sure why I asked him to use his phone when my camera was in my hand but apparently that caused some ripple effects that I didn't even pick up on. You see, he had to reach in his pocket and kneel down to take the picture. Keith, his brother, was following us (but I didn't know that) and apparently this made him panic. The fact that I almost turned around could have contributed haha. So the jellyfish almost ruined the surprise!  We continued on down the beach. There was an island type place at the end that we had walked to before. However, because the tide was coming in so rapidly, we couldn't get to it. We would have had to swim to get to it! There was a little cove that we walked into though. This little cove had big docks on each side of it. There were giant sand bags to keep the waves off the shore and it was perfect! 

We decided to take the pictures there quickly b/c the tide was coming in. I sat down on one of the sand bags and when I looked up, Kevin wasn't beside me like I had expected. Instead he was still standing up. I asked what he was doing b/c it was going to be very hard to take pictures like that! He grinned and said, "So you know how you didn't know if we were going to get engaged at the beach or not?" I said, unsure of where this was going, "Yes.... Why?" "He said that he had a surprise for me. I got excited but still didn't believe this was really happening. He said a lot of really sweet things and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! We shared an unbelievable moment that I'll always treasure and remember. 

Then it got even better. Keith, Kevin's brother, stepped out from behind the dock with a camera. He laughed and said that he hadn't gotten any of it and we'd have to do it again. I died laughing. It was perfect. The actual moment is only recorded in our memories and the pictures hold the re-enactment. However, the pictures are very accurate and a very good portrayal of the emotions. I love that the camera hadn't worked! It seems like something always go differently than we plan and this proposal was no exception.

Kevin had planned to propose Friday night but the rain had caused him to have to change it to the afternoon. It was cloudy and windy and the tide almost washed us out of the cove. Keith didn't get the pictures so we had to re-do them. All of the pictures have the wind-blown look. We took a picture in shallow water and got hit by a wave and were soaked from the waste down. But it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. I love every detail and everything about his proposal. I'll cherish it forever. 

Oh, and the ring is perfect :)  We took some pictures with his family and I spent the rest of the afternoon on the phone. Both of our phones blew up with emails from facebook, texts, and calls. We are so loved and blessed. Saturday we went home and had a cook out with our families to celebrate. All in all, it was a perfect weekend and I wouldn't trade it for anything!!

I know this is really really long, but hopefully I've been able to share a little bit of this special moment with you.